Origins of Blaze, this is not my rezzing story. This goes much deeper, back to my childhood and when I think of myself pre-adolescence. When I see that girl, I see why I am so drawn to SL, my avi, and to a certain extent, the slife I lead. Anyone who knows the woman behind the keyboard is usually puzzled by my second life, so I only share it with those closest to me. Everyone knows that I am a crafty artsy down to earth kind of feminist who does not care too much for artifice and rarely wears make up. What they may know, but may have not put it together is that I was deep into girly things as a youngster and have found that part of me again in a wholly different medium.
Honestly this is hard to admit, there is a lot of pressure to hate the Barbie Empire, and with good solid reasons. But I loved my Barbie dolls. I did not hack them up, I treated them with reverence. I made them clothes, I braided their hair. I did not have a lot for them, my family was not poor, but we did not have a lot of extras and my mom did not believe in "spoiling" kids. I did not have a Dream House, and I was saddened by that since my friends did. In my adulthood, I realize I had it better. I had 3 rooms of blow-up furniture, the bathroom, an above ground pool, the horse "Midnight", and the red VW camper van. I would build her house anywhere I wanted, in the foyer was my fave, one story and lots of room to move.
And then one Christmas came Darcy. I asked for her, I wanted that doll so bad, she was extra glamorous, mature, she was a fashion model after all. She could also move more than Barbie. Surely I was taken in by Saturday morning marketing, we are all vulnerable to that, especially at that age. I rarely got what I asked for on my Christmas list, but that is no fault of my folks so much as my expensive tastes and voracious appetite for consumer goods at that age. But I got a Darcy!
I was elated! Then the reality set in...none of the Barbie clothes fit her, she was too tall for the VW van, she was too leggy to ride Midnight. She took up the whole pool practically. It was all awkward for her to be in Barbie's world. And to top it off she had a "birth" defect, two left hands, for which I was teased. But did that stop me? Hell no! She did what she wanted and I just made more clothes for her. She totally stole Ken from that stiff and boring Barbie. So what if half her torso was out the sunroof of the van, she could still drive because her feet reached the pedals. Darcy was glitz and glam, and was going to take the runway by storm in the fashions I designed.
That is Blaze, too tall by most standards, clothes do not fit right, poses hate the larger frame, other avis have adjusted their height in her presence, couples anims really expect a smaller female, and that can get awkward more often that not. But do I care? Hell no! Blaze will continue to be the avi that I have come to identify with. And when I thought back to my Darcy, I realized how Blaze is partially a manifestation of an old favorite.
When I was not deep into playing with dolls, I had a whole assortment of fashion designing toys. For many years when people asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I would say a fashion designer in New York. So beyond Darcy, little Blaze loved these toys the best...
Obviously those girlhood dreams never really manifested in RL, aside from some pieces in a couple of DIY fashion shows a few years back and a few How-To Zines published as a fundraiser for my roller derby team. I do refashion a lot of my clothes that I wear on a regular basis, but nothing too elaborate. The New York designer dreams faded when I met New Wave, punk rock, anarchism and teen angst. When people asked me what I wanted to do when I grew up then, I said I wanted to be a bag lady on the streets of New York, just to get them off my back. But what I found in SL is a way to bring back those parts of myself to create and play, in a ways that recaptures the best parts of that little girl.
My outfit was a quick throw together from my inventory, mostly past group gifts. I could spend a lot of time making a better one, but I think this adequately captured my Darcy's essence (I even think I made or bought a shirt dress that is similar. Oh and except for the two left hands thing, that I could do, but I wanted to finish this post. For the record, I did ask/beg for the brunette Darcy, my mom got the blonde one, but my bestie let me play with hers when we hung out.
Dress: Purple Moon: Brandy Dress in Pink/Black
Hair: Analog Dog: pop scotch - light blondes
Shoes: Goody2Shoes: Hollywood Flip BLACK
Jewelry: Chop Zuey: Winter Berries set
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